Why Family?
Often times we value things without giving it much thought. We grow in a certain environment and learn to follow certain protocol which we follow without much questioning. Although it seems contrary, this is the case in the lives of many people. Very few try to question every aspect of life. I guess such an all-questioning life is exhausting too.
For now, let me consider the question of Family and valuing family. Or a slightly better question would be: Why do we need a family? Try asking this question to elders who try to inculcate it into the minds of the younger generation. I hope everyone has an understanding of their own actions and their reasons to do so.
I have an answer to this question. I shall present it here. Any missing link or mistakes are open for scrutiny and criticism.
“Strictly speaking, human beings are social animals. We can’t survive alone in this world. We aren’t strong as a lion, we aren’t fast as a horse and we can’t fly like birds. To human beings, communal living is the way to survival. Human beings are vulnerable than almost all other species when left to live individually.
“Children of any animal species don’t need protection or help for as many years as we human babies do. It’s logical to invest in the next generations. More like Evolution made sure we are inclined to live in society. We are given emotions such as love and need for companionship since they help our species survive. There is strength in cooperation.
“But there is a different type of evolution too which is faster than natural biological evolution. That is intellectual evolution. Our brain grew too fast that they outran the supplies of necessary instincts provided by biological selection. Our instincts were good enough to make us live as any other animal. Our intelligence grew enough to make us see how we can improve upon the previous ways.
“Slowly we introduced a lot of concepts for a society to run. One important rule of it is to cooperate. And Man as any other animal is selfish. Why would someone cooperate when they can live independently? We can’t live independently, so we learned to cooperate. Almost all the best societies have the concept of family love.
“A mother and father are instinctively given (Evolution) the emotion of love so that they take care of the child. And also Human beings have a tendency to care for people whom they spend time with. These are almost instinctive in nature. For example, consider Stockholm syndrome, person kidnapped starts to love and care for the kidnapper. This tells us that we humans have a tendency to love and care for people we spend time with.
“Family and relatives are intellectual developments to make sure a person is always accustomed to societal living. This idea is so intuitive that we can’t almost differentiate whether it’s a natural tendency or a protocol we are taught. As a child, you spend a lot of time with family and are well provided by the family.
“A person has to cooperate and live with other people. That’s the main rule for our species survival. To make sure that rule is followed, to get accustomed to it, our species is developed with many needs both psychological and physical. We feel the need for others love. We need a farmer to get food. And so on. We alone can’t get everything we need.
“This is where family and relatives come in. When you are in desperate need and you have to depend on others, and when it’s almost logical that you can’t give anything back to society, society can simply decide to abandon you. But a family stands with you in all cases. A family is a system developed to make sure no one is left alone at any time.
“On a side note, you might ask why a person with no outcome be added to society. We are taught to follow the protocol with no such exceptions because this is not a process limited to local events. I mean it’s not something we practice specifically choosing person to person. It must work for thousands of generations as if it’s an iron-clad rule. The simpler the rule, the more life-time it has. So the rule is simple: Love and care for your family.
“Here comes the next point. We all need a home. A place where you can take rest from every issue of the world, where you don’t have to strain your capabilities to survive. If you try noticing it next time, every place where or every person with whom you feel at home, it’s when you can finally take rest and feel a lot carefree as if almost nothing can hurt you.
“Family and relatives provide that for you. In some cases friends and colleagues too.
“In some regions, they give more value to God, because God is some made-up fantasy who would always be there for you and you can feel at home with God. In Christianity, as far as I read the bible, it asks one to place God above all. God can hear you even in the silence when no one can. It almost preaches in a way to make God your home. I think it is a wonderful idea to find a home in immortal fantasy. You can always find a home in it, it never vanishes.
“But in more rational societies like Indian, family comes first. Cause family can be more than just a psychological home. They can provide for each other and support one another.
“Finally why does an individual need a relative or family?
“It’s because we are human. Human species can’t survive alone. It needs cooperation and interdependence.
“When you are in a position whole society can leave you be, a family is the only thing which can find a reason to stay with you. Even friends can abandon you because they don’t have the necessary reason to stay. But family is given the place of the highest reason which can’t be questioned. Family stays even when everyone abandons. That’s how it is practised, training one to value it, but never the reason behind it. Once the reason is clear, we have a tendency to bypass it with other options. For a rule to be stringent overages, it needs to be irreplaceable. What’s more stringent than a common moral value in societies!
“Of course, we see cases where even family will abandon a person. But in general, it’s not the case.”
